Broke my foot and spent my time doing something totally normal and proportionate: fixing the entire internet

So there I am. Couch. Foot elevated. A rod of cold steel holding my bones together like some kind of budget Wolverine situation. My doctor calls it "surgical hardware." I call it my villain origin story.

I've named myself Captain Tiny Hook. You're welcome.

Now, most people in my position would do something reasonable with their couch-bound time. Watch a series. Eat soup. Cry a little. Not me. No. I had bigger plans. Completely normal, measured, not-at-all-unhinged plans.

I decided to fix the entire internet.

As one does. When one is bored. And in pain. And the remote is just slightly too far away.

Look, someone had to. And that someone was apparently going to be me - a woman in compression socks with nowhere to be and a bone held together by what I can only describe as IKEA furniture hardware.

Because here's what happened. Day two of recovery I opened my laptop to look up "how long does bone healing take" and forty-five minutes later I was staring at a cart full of items I did not put there, had rage-watched six autoplay videos, doom-scrolled into a geopolitical anxiety spiral, and been served seventeen ads for the exact boot I googled ONCE in private mode.

THE BOOT. FOR MY BROKEN FOOT. THEY KNEW.

And something in me just snapped.

The fake search results. The ads that follow you like a golden retriever who learned surveillance capitalism. The way every app is basically a slot machine designed by a guy who definitely would not make eye contact at a dinner party. The infinite scroll engineered to make you forget time, hunger, and your own name.

Someone has to fix this, I thought.

Why not me tho ?

Is it a big task? Sure. Am I technically still wearing yesterday's pyjamas? Also yes. Is “yesterday “ somehow a relative term no ? Maybe lol

So I built a bunch of tools for the internet to make it a better place, right now it’s 4 browser extensions and later I want to build apps.

LinkyLink: Google, but just the results. No ads. No AI fluff. No sponsored garbage. Just the links you actually searched for - toggle Google's AI answer on or off whenever you want.

CookieTin: Every site begs you to accept cookies. CookieTin says no for you - automatically. No clicking, no reading, no annoying banners. And while it's at it, it quietly hunts for deals and coupons so you save money without thinking about it.

Blankie: Some sites you open on autopilot. Blankie intercepts before you get there and asks how you're feeling, offers something better, and gives you a breath to decide. Not a blocker. Just a pause. Not the habit. Not the algorithm. You.

Usure: That feeling when you almost bought something you didn't need? Usure makes you pause before checkout. Pick your mood, check in with yourself, then decide. It doesn't stop you -it just makes sure you decided, not the algorithm.